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Have you ever noticed how many people play: "I'm Right Camiseta Diego Perotti Mundial 2018 , You're Wrong"? Have you ever wondered why this is so common, especially in close relationships? This problem starts with our culture teaching us to focus our attention on right-wrong thinking.

The good news is that you can unlearn this power-over approach, and start having more genuine cooperation in your relationships. Sound good? Then please keep reading. Just ahead you'll find five keys to open the doors that lead beyond "Us Against Them" thinking and into the power of "WE."

Our life journey has included years of "Us vs. Them" training. Growing up, each step along the way we heard: "It's a dog-eat-dog world Camiseta Javier Mascherano Mundial 2018 ," "Look out for number one," "Watch your back," and other such expressions. These created strong mental habits which govern our thinking as well as our actions. Even in our most loving and trusting relationships, we often end up playing the good-bad Camiseta Matias Kranevitter Mundial 2018 , right-wrong games.

Got lawyers?

One of the essential skills we all learned is how to prove we are right and defend against being proven wrong. This has become very deeply ingrained. It won't change overnight, and it won't change just by "wanting" it to.

The only way to begin shifting this way of thinking is to learn something new: skills and understandings that open the door to new possibilities. Your desire for more co-creative relationships is what prepares you to use the first key.


Are you clear about your intentions? Do you know the difference between a strategy and an intention? Knowing this difference is essential. Without this you tend to get stuck wanting other people to agree with your strategies. This can leave people feeling closed and defensive. Even worse, being attached to one particular strategy dramatically limits your opportunities to be satisfied.

One strategy = One opportunity.

On the other hand, a strategy-free intention describes only what you value and the qualities you want to experience in a situation. Starting with pure intention like this is necessary when creating outcomes that will satisfy everyone. Identifying a clear Camiseta Nahuel Guzman Mundial 2018 , strategy-free intention is also essential for using the next key.


Is everyone on the same page? Do you want similar results? Establishing alignment is the second key to successful co-creation. In life, we go about our own lives, trying to achieve our own goals, yet we are all still interconnected. This puts limits on how far we can get in achieving our own results without cooperation.

The process of creating alignment starts by getting clear about what is important to everyone. It's co-creating a shared vision of success. Beginning by learning alignment paves the way for easy agreements and abundant results Camiseta Angel Di Maria Mundial 2018 , which produces far greater satisfaction for everyone. You need alignment to use the next key.

Negotiation is the way in an abundant world. It begins by identifying what everyone values and what is missing for them. Then Camiseta Diego Maradona Mundial 2018 , while you keep your attention focused on everyone's values, strategies will emerge that make it possible for everyone to be satisfied, without any compromise needed. Once everyone is satisfied with the strategies, you're ready to use key number four.


What's the plan? What needs to happen and who's willing to do what? After everyone's had their say Camiseta Lionel Messi Mundial 2018 , people often people think they've made agreements. In reality they've only expressed vague understandings of what they want, and how they would like that to happen.

Co-creation relies on your ability to make clear, doable requests that lead to definite agreements. Powerful agreements are specific about who, what Camiseta Sergio Aguero Mundial 2018 , when, where, and how. They include a positive confirmation of each person's willingness to do their part.

Will your agreements continue to work for everyone? Will they create the results you want? Without accountability you can't know if your agreements are actually working. If you wait to find out they aren't working, you may have already built up dangerous levels of frustration Camiseta Enzo Perez Mundial 2018 , resentment, and resignation.

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asked Jun 13, 2018 in Computer by Xuwanghuan (4,100 points)

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